Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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