and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
