Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
