so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
