you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
