I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Farmville is her only friend.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
