The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
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For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
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the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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