Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
