There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
