She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
