That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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