I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
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We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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