You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
