try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
