I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
