from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
