I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
