I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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