He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
