Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
