woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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