I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
