we're blogging at a bar
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
