The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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