I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
