I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize
