So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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