They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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