I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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