South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize