I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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