ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
