Please, let me fuck your mom
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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