At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
