theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
