break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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