so explain again why im purple
no
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
