you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
How does it feel to date your dad?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
