Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
