Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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