Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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