WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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