in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
