Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize