guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So vagazzling was a success
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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