so explain again why im purple
no
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
