Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
