What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
