im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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