Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
