its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
