well you can't waste a boner
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
people are starting to question the shark bite story
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Randomize
