yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
my being single is dangerous.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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