Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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