yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
