when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
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