You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
