you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
