Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she smelled like a LAN party
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize