But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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