ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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