i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
