I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
