I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize