her vagina looked like bernie madoff
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
